Everything you are about to read could be completely untrue, false, incorrect, wide of the mark, off target, cockeyed and/or just plain wrong. So caveat lector, baby.
Yesterday, out in the clumsily named “blogosphere”, someone wrote about a conversation she had with her three-year-old daughter. They were discussing said daughter’s behavior at day care, behavior so egregiously bad that she had been given the proverbial boot and sent home. Here is a part of the conversation:
The mother asked, “Why did you misbehave like that at B’s house?”
The daughter replied, “Because I miss my mommy. I miss her so much. I miss her right now!”
The mother quite sensibly pointed out, “I’m right here.”
So here is a statement by a child that makes no sense on the surface. How could she be missing her mom when her mom was right there? One more crucial piece of information: because I am a regular reader of this particular blog, I happen to know that something sad is happening in the house, their beloved dog is dying.
Tipping my hat, as is my wont, to my old pal Winnicott, I am going to take the liberty of playing with the reality of this conversation. When I do, it goes like this:
The mother asks: “Why did you misbehave like that at B’s house?” I hear, : “What have you done with my daughter? My daughter does not behave in such a way as to be unceremoniously shown the door at day care. She may have her foibles, her quirks, her moments of genius that no one else sees, but SHE DOES NOT GET KICKED OUT OF DAYCARE. Where are you hiding her, you tiny impostor?”
The daughter replies: “Because I miss my mommy. I miss her so much. I miss her right now!” I hear: “I am right here. It is you who are not here. You are so engulfed in a haze of sadness, I cannot see you anymore. You are lost to me and I miss you.”
And all that bad behavior at day care? Well, if you have lost someone and you want to be found, ya gotta make a lot of noise.